Therefore we can see that, I am, insane (Fuck!)

I have to start by saying I’m not angry. Although I feel like I deserve to be.

How I’m feeling is more… disappointment? Bewilderment?

Bothered? That I did what I said I would never do again and I paid for it.

What I’m talking about is this fuckin internship and not getting a fuckin job once-a-fuckin-gain….. FUCK!!!!!!!

(ok maybe I’m a little angry)

To celebrate the news I took a two-hour lunch break, I felt I deserved it.

It’ll be tough saying goodbye to $3 an hour though I must admit.

The only thing that springs to mind is ol’ Alby Einstein’s definition of insanity ‘doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results’.

I think I’ve learnt my lesson world.

I need to be alone now.

Thank you.

Square minute, round hour

A lot can be said for identifying your personal work-habits.

I for instance have been struggling with trying to get my brain into gear in the morning and pumping out ideas is just dam near impossible.

However towards the end of the day I start to ramp up and I would say my most productive hours are between 4-6pm.

It has been pissing me off, each day, coming to work and stressing about getting ideas out in the morning.

So today (at the expense of it looking like I was doing no work) I just sat back, read blogs, read the news, watched my twitter feed dribble along, had txt conversations with various people, all through the morning, and across lunch.

I suppose it didn’t so much look like I wasn’t working as I just, wasn’t, working.

But that isn’t the point. It is why I tend to post blogs in the evening, I am simply more stimulated at this time, more willing to spend some effort on something.

Needless to say once 4pm rocked around I was pen to paper jotting down ideas as if the flood gates had opened.

Admittedly I got a little excited about cracking a problem which has been plaguing me and jumped on here to share the news in this blog, effectively stemming the flow of ideas, but hey, baby steps.

It has taught me to not be so hard on myself when the ideas aren’t coming through, it just simply isn’t the right time for them.

4-6pm is.

Bottom line is, if you aren’t getting stuff done while everyone else around you is shooting all over the place then don’t sweat it. Just sit back and wait till the opportune moment.

Til next time

 

Today, I hugged a stranger, and it felt great!

Today has possibly been the most serendipitous day of my life.

I missed my usual bus and that is when it all began. I had the choice to wait 10mins or to catch another bus and walk up queen street to K’rd… a long walk.

So I hesitated while I thought about what to do, I just felt that getting on the bus in 10mins was a better idea. Then suddenly the bus that was waiting shut its doors and drove off.

It was decided.

On the 10mins later bus there was a guy who I played soccer with years ago, I had a bit of a chat to him. Then at the next stop an ex-girlfriend (my first true love) got on the bus. I had a mean catch up with her and this time it wasn’t awkward. It was fun.

I mused to myself after I got off the bus that I would never have had those opportunities to talk if I had taken the other bus and not waited 10mins.

The next moment came during my lunch break. I was sitting there eating my chicken katsu (yeah you jealous) in the sun and taking it easy. I then felt the urge for milk duds, delicious toffee balls coated in chocolate.

So I meandered over to the nearby dairy that I knew stocked them for only $2, quite a good inner city price. However when I got there a note on the door said ‘back in 5 mins, sorry’. Never seen that before but I decided to check out another dairy because I wanted milk duds pretty badly.

I cruised over to the next dairy but they were asking $2.40 upwards for their confectionary so I decided the best thing to do was to go back and sit in the sun until the dairy owner came back, in 5 mins.

My detour to the other dairy had put me on a route I don’t often walk. This is when I saw three girls with signs saying ‘FREE HUGS’ walking toward me.

At first I thought “Fuck, some mud chick is going to try get a hug, cbf” but as they got closer and I saw that they weren’t repulsive I warmed up to the idea.

One burst up to me and semi-yelled “DO you WANT a FREE hug (semi-yell in text form?)” so I said “yeah sure why not” and accepted my free hug while some guy took a photo? peculiar.

It made me smile, people should all hug more, this I have always stressed, and after today will continue to stress. HUG PEOPLE, PEOPLE!

I bought my milk duds and strolled on my way back to work. Again I had a feeling that I just had to be on this particular side of the road, and you guessed it, something else happened.

I looked up and ahead of me was a man, in a skirt, with a blouse and his hairy chest cleavage on display, eating noodle soup out of a small box and it looked like he had been crying? He also had a receding hairline. This was maybe not the most serendipitous moment out of all of these but it was definitely the strangest.

Anyway that was all before 1 o’clock so who knows what else this odd day will bring me?

I hope it is riches.

The post-university shits

It is kind of like when you’re eating a choc-bar ice cream and you get to the end of it and think ‘Fuck yeah, just ate a choc bar and didn’t drop any of it on myself’ then you look down and a big piece has been quietly melting on your jeans.

Uni, is the choc bar, the jeans, the jeans are your life.

Like a choc bar I enjoyed every moment of uni but it was difficult to navigate around sometimes, and now it has stained me.

Don’t worry this isn’t another internship post (though I must say it attracted record views and commentary) Nay, this is about the difficulty of finding a job as a graduate and the growing feeling you get of ‘WHY THE FUCK DID I EVEN GO TO UNI IN THE FIRST PLACE’

The excuse that tons of people I know, including myself always hear over and over is the classic ‘We went with someone with more experience or we need someone with more experience’

A friend of mine has applied for countless jobs only to constantly find himself blocked out by lack of experience despite having completed a three-year degree.

‘How are we supposed to get experience if we can never get a job, where do they expect us to get it from?’ We often find ourselves lamenting to each other.

I was talking to another mate about the same issue, he has cracked the industry and now has a full-time position.

He said ‘Once you’re in, you’re in, and you aren’t getting kicked out bar doing something absolutely stupid’

Eeeeh it is a comforting thought but for people who aren’t ‘in’ yet we’re kinda just left wondering why we studied our degree in the first place other than to have a debt.

What it really takes is for somebody out there to give you a chance, an honest chance. Maybe it is someone who has been in the same position and swore to help out anyone they could and to make it easier for others than it was for them. I know if I ever get to a position where it is up to me to hire some interns, those gon’ be the best fuckin paid interns in town, maybe even better paid than the guys in a full-time position, and they’ll be on trial for six weeks max.

It only takes that one person to recognise the hard work that goes into getting a degree and to realise that if you can do that, you can probably stick hard to some good work.

This sad truth that someone has to open the door for you gets me down. I am the kind of guy who would rather kick the door to a place down and say I’m right for this job bitch, and that is that! Employ me! So it sucks that you have to wait outside in the foyer while they um and uh about your experience and the impact it has on your ability to work.

But I guess we just have to stay chin up, trust in what we are doing and attempt to make it happen.

Till next time.

The moment you realise you aren’t working toward anything

Ever had one of those moments where you think to yourself ‘I need to make a note of this moment, this is the moment when I failed’

From then on you can do whatever you want but it isn’t going to help, it is game.over.

I had one of these moments earlier today. Which due to trying to make up for it turned into two moments.

The moments that I will blame for not getting a job if this internship doesn’t work out.

The first moment came earlier during a creative review. The brief for the creative has changed like five times so a far as my thinking goes it has been slapped around to about eight different shades of blue.

At the review there was myself, a creative I semi-kinda-partner with, our Creative Director, and another Senior creative/company CEO.

I had no ideas that hadn’t been tabled. The CEO asked me if I had any ideas (and not wanting to show that I didn’t, I bullshitted).

I came up with probably the worst, least thought out idea you possibly could and blurted it out.

What followed was a lot of weird looks and the CEO saying ‘tonally, that isn’t right, in fact, its just quite scary’

A comment that doesn’t exactly encourage you to keep thinking, therefore for the rest of the meeting I did the worst thing I could have possibly done, I sat there not saying a word.

When asked if I had any thoughts I said no and continued to scribble anything I did think down on my pad and not share it.

I thought then, this is the moment I failed, fuck. It is quite a strange thing when you have a kind of immediate hindsight, you just know, that you dropped the ball.

But Hugh isn’t defeated so easily. I went for a walk to clear my head. Recompose my thoughts, talk myself back into believing I can do good work, and then headed back to my desk.

I sat there for a while thinking and I got something down on paper. I jumped up and walked over to the creative director and handed him the papers.

He read them and said ‘too complicated’

‘Really?’ I said, I thought it was pretty clear.

‘Explain it to me then, maybe I’ve missed it’ I should have stopped and walked back to my desk when he said this. Buuut I didn’t.

What followed was me explaining my idea, it was clear as day to me but we were going around in circles while the CEO sat at his desk watching.

After about two minutes of sweating my ass off at the CDs desk explaining I grabbed the papers up and walked back to my desk with a ‘yeap ok I’m with you’

Leaving behind me a CD pissing himself at me and a CEO yelling I wish I had that on camera….

Back to the desk. Headphones on. Face red. Begin writing blog….

Well, that’s how I fucked up my internship if anyone wonders why in a week I am blogging about unemployment.

Till next time.

Internships and why they are a fucking lend, part 2.

The previous post I submitted about internships was, as is my style, heated. I was thinking about it the other day and I may not have clearly expressed what the real problems at the heart of the issue are… So I thought I would give it another, shorter, and more precise post to really get the point across.

Issue, the first

Obviously when you are at High School you make a decision as to what you want to study at University, a decision you make with your career in mind. Your reason for going to university is therefore to learn about your career path, to study it in-depth, to be absorbed in it for any number of years, and to discover if it is something you are passionate about. After all, university is a hard grind and if you aren’t passionate about the subject, you leave, or re-discipline into another course.

To me getting a degree is important, it shows that you can dedicate to a task and stick to it no matter how much of your weekend gets overtaken and no matter how long it ends up taking. 

This is why I believe internships should not extend over six weeks. A lot of opportunity to work is in front of you during that time, enough to give both you and your employer an idea of how well you are suited to the job.

Issue, the second

People work for money. Time is the only personal commodity you sell that is wroth anything to employers. It is also in limited supply. There is the argument that if you do what you love then you never work a day in your life. This is true. However, given the opportunity, how many people would show up to work, deal with shit they just don’t want to deal with and stare out a window at the sunny day from 9-6 everyday if they weren’t getting paid to do it. Come on.

The only thing separating an intern from an employee is a signed piece of paper. If I sign the piece of paper I do not miraculously unlock the secret to my creativity. It is already there, pay me for it.

The long term repercussions of not being paid today when you are 21 years old and above means debts, it means the bank ringing you asking when you are going to stop your account operating in overdraft and it means saving up for two weeks to pay a $60 mobile bill. Emotionally you feel like a drain on everyone around you and I believe this is not conducive to good creative work.

Issue, the third, and final

It doesn’t breed a self confidence in yourself, or your work. You feel under constant scrutiny. You feel a constant need to validate your position and impress with your employability. You work hard, really hard, then a side comment comes that you should relax and just get to know everyone. So you do, and the comment comes that they really need to see you working.

It is a constant fucking dance where the employer is definitely in control and the best you can do when they say jump is ask “how high?” You question your work constantly, stress yourself to make more, rip your hair out to make it better, and then sink with disappointment when it gets axed. You try your best to talk to people who don’t even know who you are other than ‘the intern’ and probably don’t care who you are. 

This is really what I meant when I talked about buy-in in the last post. It is tough to get involved in any situation that you know may be temporary, you guard yourself but to get the job you can’t, so you dive in full hog and you feel the full sting when it doesn’t work out.

And it does sting, it really, does, sting.

It is horrible.

When you are an intern you get to see behind the curtain, you see everything that goes on and want to be a part of it. You get so caught up in it that you envision what your life will be like once you finish it. Once you are a full-paid, fully-appreciated member of the company, and that life rocks.

Internships should be banned or limited to 6 weeks because they provide people with nothing more than false hopes and if more than one falls through, a deep bitterness toward the industry.

Until next time,

P.S. sorry this was in no way shorter as promised, but definitely more concise.

Internships and why they are a fucking lend

I mentioned in my last post that I hated internships.

Perhaps that was not strong enough. I fucking despise them.

I understand that fresh out of university greens probably aren’t the safest bet for employers.

I get that.

Everyone needs a trial period, I expect my prospective employers to test me out, I respect that. This is probably the only reason I have given internships or trial periods another chance since stating I would never do one again.

What I don’t understand however, is how agencies get away with paying someone anywhere between $0-200 for a week, and I mean a SERIOUS FUCKING week, 8am-7pm everyday for three months.

It works out to around $3.60/hr.

Before tax.

Since I don’t live in Asia and work for Nike, it is a wage I don’t appreciate.

“But Hugh, the vital work experience!!” I hear you say.

You get that after about the first month. Not to mention that for three years prior to an internship you have probably done some form of study in advertising and had lots of practical (albeit fake) briefs to work on.

Things don’t change in an agency. It is the same stuff. You get briefed, you think, you make, and you move on.

It’s fun though, I thoroughly enjoy it. I have come to realise after a time not doing it that it is a job in which I cannot imagine myself doing other jobs.

Interns are treated like shit.

It isn’t that you get all the briefs noone wants, that is to be expected and should be embraced (you can make some good shit out of those briefs). It’s rather that you are seriously treated like a second class citizen.

The big dogs expect you to show passion and enthusiasm for the work. But I ask, how can you? How can you be excited, and passionate, and enthusiastic about work in which you have no buy-in.

By buy-in I mean emotional investment, financial investment, personal investment. If I have no buy-in to a project, then beyond it possibly awarding me a job, what do I care about it. You don’t care if it makes you money (cause it won’t exceed your $3.60), you don’t care if it makes the agency money (because it won’t increase your $3.60) and you don’t care if it makes the client money (because that definitely won’t increase your $3.60).

You get left out of meetings. WTF? Like some you go to, but then there are other ones you don’t get to go to while all the other creatives do. So you just sit and write a blog till they come back I guess. Each one you don’t go to makes you suspicious of wether or not you will be hanging around. Like the agency is holding back some secrets from you.

Who would I tell?

Right now I have no money. I’m also sitting here thinking awkwardly about how I need to ask when I’m getting paid my $3.60 I have earned each hour because if it isn’t before the weekend I literally won’t be able to afford the bus to come back here.

It is definitely a shit situation.

Internships are slave labour. You pretty much go to a place where there is more money than you will ever earn in your life, for 3 months or more, getting paid three-dollars-fucking-sixty an hour to work you arse of while you watch your bank account shrink into the negative as bill companies, bank fees, and overdraft interest slowly takes over your screen.

SO! What do I suggest to combat this?

PAY THE FUCK, UP!

In New Zealand we have that three-month probation period built into employment contracts. If you don’t stack up in those three months then a no excuse needed good old fashion booting comes along. At least you got paid real money for the real job you did for that long.

If I sit here thinking about my money woes then that is time less spent on coming up with ideas for you mr.company.

Invest time in your interns. Make them feel like for that time they are completely, and fully a part of the company.

Don’t have secret meetings in cool rooms that make you look cool and talk about cool things cause you aren’t cool…. without me.

Yeah.

TLDR version: Read the fucking post you lazy shit

 

Until next time